Wednesday, July 5

God Bless America. And Thank You For Fireworks.

So it's the day after the Fourth of July (July 5th) and I still have ten fingers and two eyebrows. Right now, life is good. Last night Crosspoint held a quite lovely little function out at the Hurst's barn complete with free pizza and an amateur fireworks show. And by amateur I mean totally awesome. The efforts to coordinate such an explosively sweet display were tremendous. Catastrophe was never too far away, and the element of danger was an integral part of the experience. At one point, we had five tubes going at the same time about two feet apart from each other. That, my friends, is artistry. Sparklers were twirled, fingers were singed, and much fun was had by all in attendance.

This is my last week at work. My schedule is way full. Class from 9:40 to 11:10, the Design in the studio from 1:00 to 4:10, Monday - Friday. The fall is packed full as well with 16 hours and three studio classes. So, I had to tell Debbie that I won't be able to work. After the tears, (ok, no real tears, but there were in my imagination when I though of how it might go), it turns out that everything will be fine, and she told me that I have a job here whenever I want... How cool is that?! Working here turned out to be an unexpected blessing. My supervisor is great, I got to get to know almost all of the 50+ people who work here, and hopefully I made some connections within the university that might be helpful in the future. I will miss the friends, the gossip, the endless study time, the parties, the free food, and those thirsty, thirsty plants. Really, I don't want to leave. But, really, I won't miss those plants.

Also I wanted to clear something up because I think I might have miscommunicated. I am not bitter about my childhood. I am not holding any grudges against my parents, or the kids who didn't invite me into their group of friends, or any of the numerous people who have generally sucked at life. But at the same time, I am not comfortable pretending that everything was fine and dandy, because it wasn't. I have recently come to the conclusion that honesty really is the best policy, even though sometimes people are going to get hurt or offended. I have also recently come to the conclusion that people need to be hurt and offended. If you're not being challenged or generally experiencing some sort of crap, you might need to look at yourself a little more closely, because you might have stopped growing up inside. Am I ungrateful? Absolutely not. There is a lot more to life than even the best writer can get down on paper, much less a blog. The cool thing about being a real person (I just figured out I was a real person not long ago) is that you don't have to take everything for what it is, wholesale. There is usually much more waiting beneath the surface. Tip of the iceberg, appearances are deceiving, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, my real point is this: I have decieved you, I am not a writer. I try as best as I can to organize my thoughts into words and then phrases that other people might enjoy reading. Occasionally I do a good job of it, but more commonly I leave a Boggle-ish swath of literary devastation in my wake. Sometimes I should clarify, and sometimes I like to leave things vague. But it is not my goal to write destructively, I've done that enough already and have gotten tired of it. When I say I want to offend people, I don't mean spewing a rash of "Your mamma's so fat" one liners. I want to offend them with some inconveinient truth, some rude realization, so that maybe something might spark inside of them. As I said, I want to add to the world, because everything is at risk of being lost.

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